where god is buried

so it turns out that ernest, among other things, is a new testament scholar. while watching the new "national treasure 2", the characters are trapped in a cave in mt. rushmore after a round stone rolls over a doorway. ernest leaned over to ben and said,

"hey, that's where god is buried."

ben didn't have the heart to break it to him that south dakota is very far away from jerusalem. but hey, who knows? i mean, we read "the davinci code" and it tries to decipher where mary is buried. maybe ernest is on to something. maybe someday he will publish a book that will lead all those treasure hunters to mt. rushmore. could be worse.




this....



in this???

5 golden years

today is mine & ben's 5 year anniversary. i can't believe it! we always play the game, "where do you think we'll be this time, next year?" our answer last anniversary was DEFINITELY not managing a group home in north carolina. but that is what is fun, to see how far off our predictions are. this year though, we decided to change it up a bit and asked ourselves where we would be in 5 years. we predicted that we would have 3 children, crazy to think caleb would be just about ready to be baptized. i would be 32, ben 33. ben would have his doctorate in psychology and we would be living somewhere in the west. ben says in la jolla, california. so that is just a guess. but i thought for this blog i would put down what has changed for us since the first year we were married.

1) we have 5 more crow's feet (aka "smiley lines") around our eyes
2) our waists have grown 5 inches (not really but they have expanded since we got married)
3) we have 5 times more responsibility in our lives
4) we laugh 5 times louder
5) our testimonies on faith through trials are 5 times stronger
6) we've been to the hospital about 5 thousand times more than we thought we would
7) our bank account has $5 more in it
8) our circle of friends has expanded 5 times over
9) our car is 5 years newer
10) our love is 5 years stronger

i love you ben!!! can't wait for the next 5 years.

grandpa moe

tomorrow is the funeral for my grandpa. i thought it would be nice to post a picture of him, this is the one from his obituary. wish we could be there with our family to celebrate his life, but we will from afar.

our utah trip

okay so here is the deal... we have 2 digital cameras. one is really old. the other is new. the old one is the only one we have the USB cord to, so we are showing pictures from the old camera. not only is the quality not as good, but we are missing a lot of pictures that we took on our trip. once we get a new USB port for our other camera i will post the others.

we had a good time on our trip, enjoyed the snow (& enjoyed getting to leave it there!) & saw a lot of family & friends while we were there. my dad's wedding was very nice & we enjoyed getting to know brenda & her family some more. at the end of the trip, unfortunately, caleb caught the "vomit bug" that had been going around. he started throwing up every 20 minutes on the dot at 5:30 am. the morning we were supposed to leave. so ben had to go ahead & caleb & i followed a few days later...after i got the bug and slept on my mom's bathroom floor. anyway, these pictures show some of the highlights.

favorite new christmas song

i love sarah mclachlan's christmas cd...if you don't have it, GET IT!! this is the song on the CD that is new & an original written by her. it is beautiful and the words are a little sad. for me, it reminds me of loved ones who have passed on. hope you enjoy it.

thanks dora & diego

today in church caleb was coloring & said, "let's count my crayons. uno, doce, tres, quatro, cinco, seis."

WHAT? the kid is suddenly bilingual. good old dora, with her crazy monkey friend and lame map song is actually teaching caleb something. so i guess this is why 'people magazine' name dora the #73 most influential people/cartoons of the year. okay that was a lie. but after today, i'm willing to vote for her. gracias dora. gracias.


my prediction of what caleb will look like in 3 years.

a merry QUESTmas to all...

yesterday morning we celebrated 'quest'tmas for the kids here. "the quest" is the name of our group home. catchy, no? ben & i had gone shopping the night before, we had a low budget, but really did enjoy being able to buy things for them. it was hard to not overspend...okay, it was hard for ME to not overspend. but both of us just felt our hearts turn toward these kids who beneath their tough...and sometimes very annoying exteriors...are really just children of God who want to belong somewhere. especially during christmas. so we had fun wrapping presents & even more fun watching them being unwrapped. then ernest, fantasia & einstein packed their bags & left for a couple of days. carrot top? oh no. he's here with us.


carrot top has named himself the grinch. just add a couple of pounds and some bright red hair and i'd say that picture was pretty accurate.
a possible bright spot. his mom called yesterday to say that she was feeling guilty for not taking him home. so as long as he continues to act appropriately, she decided to pick him up on christmas eve & bring him back on christmas day. IT IS A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE. but let's not start making any figgy pudding yet. carrot top is notorious for destroying any chance for peace on earth. so we will keep this a secret and say some prayers. god bless us everyone.

farewell to a good man

my brother tyler called me to tell me that my grandpa moe just passed away last night. as sad as it is, it was also a relief because he has been suffering for a long time. he has been living in an assisted living home and has been able to keep his mind alive even as his body slowly failed. we had the opportunity to visit him when we went back to utah and as we left i said to ben that i wished i had taken a picture and now i am kicking myself even more. it was a short visit, he had pneumonia and was not feeling well. so i just talked to him for several minutes and then hugged him, told him we loved him, and said goodbye.

my grandpa always amazed me because he had the ability to make friends with ANYONE. when i was younger, he would take us out to eat at a restaurant and all of the hostesses & waiters knew him by name and called him their 'friend.' he was a kind, soft-spoken man and a good grandpa. he was a lover of music and i could not believe the stories he told me, of playing in a band that accompanied nat king cole & even sitting down with nat king cole and having him teach him one of his songs on the piano. he could play any instrument and even when he was older, would always introduce us to the latest and greatest in the jazz music world. i love you grandpa, and am glad you are feeling better.

this michael buble song is a tribute. i think this is how grandpa felt without my grandma and am glad they are finally together again. we'll miss you, moe town!

the SCIENCE of the lambs

so einstein has already been suspended for the rest of the week, after his FIRST day of school yesterday. why, you ask? because of this situation:

at the end of one of einstein's classes, his teacher held up some sort of plaque to the class to explain something. and this is what einstein said to him.

"that plaque has your last name on it...which means i could find out your first name...which means that i could find out what your address is and your phone number...which means that i could come to your home and find out your habits. when you go to work, when you sleep. then that way i could skin you alive and hang up your skin pelt on my wall."

apparently this high school has a "no tolerance policy" for threats. i mean, come on! that's not creepy AT ALL. they called a meeting this morning to inform us that einstein was not welcome back for the rest of the week. they told ben that it was a bit "silence of the lambs." so here we go again with the suspensions.

anyone want to come over for dinner tomorrow night?

the 4th wise man....

so now there is no room at the inn. we have 4 clients and we are at 'full capacity.' carmella, ben & i often wondered how the house would work with another big...crazy...personality. and now we know. enter who we will call einstein. a 14-yr old boy with a high IQ who loves to spout off big words, such as:

alchemist
metaphor (breaking it down into the greek and latin roots of the words)
hypotenuse
the saying "her IQ is probably the equation of pi"

and that is only the tip of the iceberg. carrying on a conversation with this fella is as difficult as trying to get carrot top's parents to let him come home on christmas day. he also bounces around when he gets anxious or excited, carmella has nicknamed him 'tigger.' one small tender mercy is that einstein and ernest have quickly become BFF's. which is good because they are sharing a room. and because he is now occupying ernest's time so that we do not here "hey ben, hey ben, hey ben" 30,000 times a day. but still, i am asking myself, why do we have another client that i honestly do not see being able to function normally in society one day? where are the kids that just need a temporary place to stay, some teaching interactions, and then will be able to cope with the reality of life? WHERE OH WHERE HAVE THE SANE ONES GONE?

memories...

this blog is more for me than anyone else. you're welcome to read it but you might end up bored!

1) lauren & tyler sleeping in my room on christmas eve, getting teased for always being the first to fall asleep
2) lauren & i sharing a room, playing "what song am i humming" until late at night
3) being in my own room, hearing tyler's little voice through the wall, "will you sing that song one more time please?" because i would always sing myself to sleep
4) driving around on sundays with my dad, looking at enormous houses & sharing a love of architecture
5) my mother's smell
6) laughing so hard i would almost pee my pants with my friend wendy
7) the salt lake children's choir, so afraid to sing solos but kept being 'told' i would sing them (mr. woodward doesn't ASK)
8) sleepovers with cousins & friends...sleeping out on the trampoline...toilet papering whoever we had a crush on
9) holding my grandmother's hand after a mastectomy...she said later she thought i was her guardian angel
10) caroling with my family...dreading it at first...then feeling so warm inside as we visited people who would cry as we sang (was it because we were off tune? i'd like to think not)
12) the infamous steadman family trip in a motorhome through church history sights...the matching t-shirts...the birthday horseshoe
13) moving to fruit heights, being so devastated to leave murray
14) my first combined YM/YW's activity...sledding...thinking, "maybe this move wasn't so bad"
15) driving around in my convertible with friends, listening to music
16) high school graduation day
17) graduation cruise with mom & grandma
18) riding the bus around weber state, getting teased because i couldn't reach the pole to hang on without standing on my tip-tippy toes
19) trip to NYC, lauren, joey...laughing SO hard...getting extremely embarrassing hiccups that refused to go away...new year's eve on times square...the confetti so thick it looked like it was snowing
20) jackson hole, bagel jax, counting crows, casey & some forgettable fellas
21) utah state...mindy & christy & our crazy landlord downstairs...the 'russes'
22) rubbing christy's back while she cried after a break up
23) jackson hole again...kristen, teton steakhouse, the gap, wayne
24) seeing ben at church that first week after both ending our current relationships, realizing that we were each now single
22) our first 'official' date...making spaghetti...feeling so comfortable...overcooking the noodles after saying i was an 'expert'
25) the feeling of nausea while i was on lortab after getting my tonsils out
26) utah state again...christy, tara, lindsay...so many good times...the mouse , "mr. jingles" appearing in the bathroom everytime I had to pee...trapping him in a garbage can w/ tara...getting snowed into our driveway & having a snowball fight...dressing up as a lemon lime for lindsay (who WON, partly i think, because of her awesome mascot)
27) the first time ben kissed me
28) the 'russes' part 2
29) sitting outside overnight in the FREEZING cold with tara for dave matthews tickets during the olympics
30) bear lake cabin adventures with friends...the narcoleptic girl falling over onto the floor w/out a warning...the water being turned off...using water bottles to wash hair & brush teeth, among other things
31) staying up too late talking to ben on the phone...then sleeping in through classes
32) my mother's eyes watching me sadly as i cried during sacrament meeting after breaking up with ben
33) the day ben proposed
34) ben's face on our wedding day
35) our first apartment...in a new place, no job, no friends of my own yet...hanging something new on the walls & making ben figure out what it was when he came home from school
36) our trip to indiana, kentucky, ohio & illinois w/ ginny & grandma alice...the crazy trek through the BIGGEST graveyard i have ever seen...my allergies...the beautiful nauvoo temple...aunt bertha...matching t-shirts AGAIN!!
37) too many rexburg friends to name them all...our fantastic ward...our amazing bishopbric...2 wonderful years
38) our 1st anniversary, ben surprising me with a beautiful diamond wedding band he had been saving up for months to buy
39) making ben play "bula bula" to find the positive pregnancy test...the smile on his face when he realized what it was
40) finding out caleb was a boy
41) caleb's first cry
42) my heart stopping when i heard he only weighed 4 1/2 lbs...crying because i knew something must be wrong
43) mastitis...thinking, 'are you kidding me? i just gave birth and now THIS?"
44) caleb's first smile
45) all of caleb's hospital visits...failure to thrive...meningitis, seizures, digestive problems, getting fitted for special orthopedic shoes
46) being so grateful for the support of family & friends
47) living in spanish fork, so close to the train you could give the conductor a high five
48) the look on caleb's face & the sound coming out of his mouth during his last seizure...the ambulance ride...the blessing from ben & troy
49) playing late night 'call of duty 2' w/ carrie & troy
50) the day caleb took his first independent step...my eyes filling with tears over the past two years of tender mercies
51) moving to north carolina...seeing the house for the first time...two fresh holes in the walls...wondering what we had gotten ourselves into
52) our days off at the beach condo
53) the DC trip with mom
54) holding my sister's hand during my father's wedding...knowing, no matter what, we would always be there for each other
55) the realization that i have lived a blessed life

utah utah utah!!

so we're heading home for a week (this thursday to next thursday) to spend time with family & friends. i can't even TELL YOU how excited we are for this trip!!! we have needed a break...a real break for a while now and after last week...with carrot top. let me just say it took every last bit of patience i had not to go ape crazy on his freckled bum. i am amazed he is still alive and that i still have hair on my head. we can't wait to see everybody!!!!!!!

wanna play?

last night carmella took ernest and fantasia out on an activity. they went to play basketball and carmella asked ernest, "want to play 'horse'?" ernest's reply was "how 'bout we play 'hillbilly' instead." first time i've heard of that one but if anyone would know about it, it'd be ernest.