memories...

this blog is more for me than anyone else. you're welcome to read it but you might end up bored!

1) lauren & tyler sleeping in my room on christmas eve, getting teased for always being the first to fall asleep
2) lauren & i sharing a room, playing "what song am i humming" until late at night
3) being in my own room, hearing tyler's little voice through the wall, "will you sing that song one more time please?" because i would always sing myself to sleep
4) driving around on sundays with my dad, looking at enormous houses & sharing a love of architecture
5) my mother's smell
6) laughing so hard i would almost pee my pants with my friend wendy
7) the salt lake children's choir, so afraid to sing solos but kept being 'told' i would sing them (mr. woodward doesn't ASK)
8) sleepovers with cousins & friends...sleeping out on the trampoline...toilet papering whoever we had a crush on
9) holding my grandmother's hand after a mastectomy...she said later she thought i was her guardian angel
10) caroling with my family...dreading it at first...then feeling so warm inside as we visited people who would cry as we sang (was it because we were off tune? i'd like to think not)
12) the infamous steadman family trip in a motorhome through church history sights...the matching t-shirts...the birthday horseshoe
13) moving to fruit heights, being so devastated to leave murray
14) my first combined YM/YW's activity...sledding...thinking, "maybe this move wasn't so bad"
15) driving around in my convertible with friends, listening to music
16) high school graduation day
17) graduation cruise with mom & grandma
18) riding the bus around weber state, getting teased because i couldn't reach the pole to hang on without standing on my tip-tippy toes
19) trip to NYC, lauren, joey...laughing SO hard...getting extremely embarrassing hiccups that refused to go away...new year's eve on times square...the confetti so thick it looked like it was snowing
20) jackson hole, bagel jax, counting crows, casey & some forgettable fellas
21) utah state...mindy & christy & our crazy landlord downstairs...the 'russes'
22) rubbing christy's back while she cried after a break up
23) jackson hole again...kristen, teton steakhouse, the gap, wayne
24) seeing ben at church that first week after both ending our current relationships, realizing that we were each now single
22) our first 'official' date...making spaghetti...feeling so comfortable...overcooking the noodles after saying i was an 'expert'
25) the feeling of nausea while i was on lortab after getting my tonsils out
26) utah state again...christy, tara, lindsay...so many good times...the mouse , "mr. jingles" appearing in the bathroom everytime I had to pee...trapping him in a garbage can w/ tara...getting snowed into our driveway & having a snowball fight...dressing up as a lemon lime for lindsay (who WON, partly i think, because of her awesome mascot)
27) the first time ben kissed me
28) the 'russes' part 2
29) sitting outside overnight in the FREEZING cold with tara for dave matthews tickets during the olympics
30) bear lake cabin adventures with friends...the narcoleptic girl falling over onto the floor w/out a warning...the water being turned off...using water bottles to wash hair & brush teeth, among other things
31) staying up too late talking to ben on the phone...then sleeping in through classes
32) my mother's eyes watching me sadly as i cried during sacrament meeting after breaking up with ben
33) the day ben proposed
34) ben's face on our wedding day
35) our first apartment...in a new place, no job, no friends of my own yet...hanging something new on the walls & making ben figure out what it was when he came home from school
36) our trip to indiana, kentucky, ohio & illinois w/ ginny & grandma alice...the crazy trek through the BIGGEST graveyard i have ever seen...my allergies...the beautiful nauvoo temple...aunt bertha...matching t-shirts AGAIN!!
37) too many rexburg friends to name them all...our fantastic ward...our amazing bishopbric...2 wonderful years
38) our 1st anniversary, ben surprising me with a beautiful diamond wedding band he had been saving up for months to buy
39) making ben play "bula bula" to find the positive pregnancy test...the smile on his face when he realized what it was
40) finding out caleb was a boy
41) caleb's first cry
42) my heart stopping when i heard he only weighed 4 1/2 lbs...crying because i knew something must be wrong
43) mastitis...thinking, 'are you kidding me? i just gave birth and now THIS?"
44) caleb's first smile
45) all of caleb's hospital visits...failure to thrive...meningitis, seizures, digestive problems, getting fitted for special orthopedic shoes
46) being so grateful for the support of family & friends
47) living in spanish fork, so close to the train you could give the conductor a high five
48) the look on caleb's face & the sound coming out of his mouth during his last seizure...the ambulance ride...the blessing from ben & troy
49) playing late night 'call of duty 2' w/ carrie & troy
50) the day caleb took his first independent step...my eyes filling with tears over the past two years of tender mercies
51) moving to north carolina...seeing the house for the first time...two fresh holes in the walls...wondering what we had gotten ourselves into
52) our days off at the beach condo
53) the DC trip with mom
54) holding my sister's hand during my father's wedding...knowing, no matter what, we would always be there for each other
55) the realization that i have lived a blessed life