scary thing...

so since caleb's seizure in january we have had minimal problems with his health (knock on wood). there have been the occasional breath-holding spells where everyone in the room goes silent until he FINALLY takes a breath but over all, he has been fairly healthy. he throws tantrums like the best of them and we have walked a fine line between giving in because we're afraid he will flip out and then go into a seizure. but for the past few months we have stopped giving in and he has done really well.

today caleb was well past his nap time and he is not a kid that can go without one and just be a bit cranky. he FALLS APART. so he had thrown several high profile tantrums and i took him upstairs to put him to bed. while we were up there he went into one of the rooms and found this huge piece of wood that is supposed to be used on one of our pieces of furniture that hasn't found its home yet. i told him no, that he needed to put it down. well he lost it completely and i had to take it away from him. he followed me into the room after screaming once and hadn't taken a breath yet. this is not unusual for him but i swear my heart stops beating each time he does this. well i waited and waited and turned around to pick him up so that i could blow in his mouth. when i reached down his mouth was completely blue and his eyes were rolling up in his head. he started to fall over and i picked him up in my arms and screamed a blood-curdling scream to ben (who was outside mowing the lawn so he couldn't hear me). i blew in his mouth, he didn't breathe and i screamed again and started running down the stairs with him in my arms. by this time he was limp and all i could see were the whites of his eyes.

FINALLY he took a breath!!!!!!! i sat down on the stairs and just started bawling along with him, shaking. once he was breathing he was completely coherent and was more bothered that his mom was crying because that doesn't happen often. so he put his hands on both of my cheeks and said, "okay mama? you okay? you sad? you be happy now?" i walked outside and told ben to come in & explained what happened.

honestly this stuff scares the HECK out of me!! i do not stay calm. that is ben's job. but i was soooooo grateful that he did not have a seizure and that he seems fine. needless to say, he went to bed and i knelt down and said a prayer that he is okay for another day. for some reason caleb has health problems. nothing that can be diagnosed, just a whole lot of random things that mixed together causes a bit of a more high maintenance child. but heavenly father has blessed us with this little guy who brings us so much joy that ben and i can barely stand it sometimes. we just love to be around him, even when he is having a hard time. caleb has the best sense of humor that he got from his dad and some underdeveloped height, that he got from his mom. :) he's an adorable little guy and i am more grateful than i can describe in words that he has come down on earth to spend some time with ben and i.